Earnie Larson included Celebration in his Program Plan as a formula for recovery. On page 68 of his book Stage II Recovery, Earnie has a section on Celebration. My first sponsor had me fill out the Program Plan, beginning with putting my name in the blank. It was My Program now, and I needed to own all of it, including my celebration plan. I use my Program Plan in many other ways. It is also a marker that shows me where I am out of balance and how to get back into balance.
Yes, once a week fills the bill, but celebrating daily makes me really grow. I say thank you to the Universe for all of my blessings, but what it is most important to me is to name those blessings. Sometimes people suggest that we say or write five “thank yous” or gratitudes per day. I think we need to make this a “JUST DO IT” item in our Program of Recovery.
It is part of my program to be thankful. Even when I am sad and crying for myself, I can be thankful to know this level of sadness and pain will go away. My program of recovery is about being thankful every week, every day. Every Sunday evening I light a Celebration candle. The candle and I spend a few minutes together and breath in thankfulness for all that has happened during my week and I name those things. Sometimes I call friends to say, “I am celebrating…” Boy oh boy, does sharing fill up my joy bank.
Sometimes this Celebration thing has been really hard, and when I persist, I have been able to shift my energy. Yup, sometimes I have been so desperate to see clearly, that I have resorted to... “I am thankful for light switches, insulation in my house, windows, etc. When I think of people in countries with extreme poverty, I can see clearly. “Today, I am thankful for…”.
Arleen B
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Progress, Not Perfection
It's humbling, this learning something new.
For me, spinning wool had me learning on so many different levels.
There was the actually spinning technique, on spindle and wheel. It was challenging and took practice. I heard it was relaxing, but I did not see that part of it at first. I worked at it, practicing, and came to believe I was making progress. Yet when I saw what others had accomplished it wasn’t easy to feel I was doing so well. I kept at it, because I am, if nothing, stubborn and relentless. And I wanted it.
There was the lesson of putting myself out there, as in going to the open knitting time at the local shop to practice on the spinning wheel. I worked on something I am not good at in front of a group of strangers, some of whom were very accomplished at what I was doing. Huge for me. I mean, really huge.
And what about comparing myself to others? The lesson of being content where I am at, having done the best I can. That’s an ongoing lesson for me, not just here, but in many areas of my life.
And finally, after one spinning lesson, I gained data that I could finally ‘file away’, feeling like I had learned something. I like data and facts to line up a bit. Learning something new, with some many different bits and pieces of knowledge flying at me all at once gets me….well, spinning. I was finally feeling less ‘undone’.
I could learn this. I could learn all of this. It would take time and it would take practice. But I could do it. And I still am...learning....and practicing.
Much of this parallels my program.
At first there is so much to hear, to assimilate, and so much I feel I must do to see a difference. It was easy to be overwhelmed by it all. There was just so much wrong with me! Where to start? What to do? So much to take in!
The program is challenging, and it takes practice. But step by step I worked it, and I feel progress…for a while, until I slip, or until I start comparing myself to others. But I keep at it, because I see the progress in others, and I see progress in myself. And I want it.
I put myself out there in meetings, with others I don’t necessarily know, who have been at it longer than me. There’s a big lesson there for me.
And I can be content with my progress, knowing I am perfect where I am today, as long as I am working the program.
I can do this. Step by step, practicing every day.
BI
For me, spinning wool had me learning on so many different levels.
There was the actually spinning technique, on spindle and wheel. It was challenging and took practice. I heard it was relaxing, but I did not see that part of it at first. I worked at it, practicing, and came to believe I was making progress. Yet when I saw what others had accomplished it wasn’t easy to feel I was doing so well. I kept at it, because I am, if nothing, stubborn and relentless. And I wanted it.
There was the lesson of putting myself out there, as in going to the open knitting time at the local shop to practice on the spinning wheel. I worked on something I am not good at in front of a group of strangers, some of whom were very accomplished at what I was doing. Huge for me. I mean, really huge.
And what about comparing myself to others? The lesson of being content where I am at, having done the best I can. That’s an ongoing lesson for me, not just here, but in many areas of my life.
And finally, after one spinning lesson, I gained data that I could finally ‘file away’, feeling like I had learned something. I like data and facts to line up a bit. Learning something new, with some many different bits and pieces of knowledge flying at me all at once gets me….well, spinning. I was finally feeling less ‘undone’.
I could learn this. I could learn all of this. It would take time and it would take practice. But I could do it. And I still am...learning....and practicing.
Much of this parallels my program.
At first there is so much to hear, to assimilate, and so much I feel I must do to see a difference. It was easy to be overwhelmed by it all. There was just so much wrong with me! Where to start? What to do? So much to take in!
The program is challenging, and it takes practice. But step by step I worked it, and I feel progress…for a while, until I slip, or until I start comparing myself to others. But I keep at it, because I see the progress in others, and I see progress in myself. And I want it.
I put myself out there in meetings, with others I don’t necessarily know, who have been at it longer than me. There’s a big lesson there for me.
And I can be content with my progress, knowing I am perfect where I am today, as long as I am working the program.
I can do this. Step by step, practicing every day.
BI
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Now I Know…
Being right with God is what makes the difference in my life.
Without God there is nothing.
I don’t fear any where that God takes me.
I stay in conscious contact with God.
I am right where I need to be.
I am about as happy as I make my mind up to be.
I share the real me with others.
I take one day at a time.
I name my feelings.
I think.
I make healthy choices.
I don’t have the power to control events, outcomes or people.
It is my resistance to situations that cause suffering in my life.
I don’t have to handle everything on my own.
I am perfectly imperfect.
I do the best I can and that is good enough.
I give myself the things I need with God’s help.
I trust what I know.
I trust myself to handle any situation that comes up with God’s help.
God loves me unconditionally.
God is love.
I am valuable and precious.
I am deserving of love.
I am loved.
I love myself and others unconditionally.
I take care of myself by working my program.
I see everyone around me getting better.
I love my life!
PI
Without God there is nothing.
I don’t fear any where that God takes me.
I stay in conscious contact with God.
I am right where I need to be.
I am about as happy as I make my mind up to be.
I share the real me with others.
I take one day at a time.
I name my feelings.
I think.
I make healthy choices.
I don’t have the power to control events, outcomes or people.
It is my resistance to situations that cause suffering in my life.
I don’t have to handle everything on my own.
I am perfectly imperfect.
I do the best I can and that is good enough.
I give myself the things I need with God’s help.
I trust what I know.
I trust myself to handle any situation that comes up with God’s help.
God loves me unconditionally.
God is love.
I am valuable and precious.
I am deserving of love.
I am loved.
I love myself and others unconditionally.
I take care of myself by working my program.
I see everyone around me getting better.
I love my life!
PI
Four years after my divorce, I still felt underlying feelings of sadness and anger.
I had difficulty feeling at peace when home alone.
I worried about my family members even though they were all adults and living on their own.
I had difficulty communicating with my office manager at work.
As a volunteer with teens at my church, I felt I was not doing a good job.
I was critical, judgmental, self righteous, and God felt very distant.
I started attending Guide For Living weekly, 1 hr. meetings two times a week.
After 1 1/2 yrs I felt like a different person.
I developed a good relationship with myself and a close relationship with God as I understand him. As a result all of my relationships have been affected in a positive
way.
Through Guide For Living program I have developed emotional peace, a positive grateful
outlook on life. I am much happier and continue to grow on a positive spiritual path.
JB
I had difficulty feeling at peace when home alone.
I worried about my family members even though they were all adults and living on their own.
I had difficulty communicating with my office manager at work.
As a volunteer with teens at my church, I felt I was not doing a good job.
I was critical, judgmental, self righteous, and God felt very distant.
I started attending Guide For Living weekly, 1 hr. meetings two times a week.
After 1 1/2 yrs I felt like a different person.
I developed a good relationship with myself and a close relationship with God as I understand him. As a result all of my relationships have been affected in a positive
way.
Through Guide For Living program I have developed emotional peace, a positive grateful
outlook on life. I am much happier and continue to grow on a positive spiritual path.
JB
Friday, February 20, 2009
What you think of me has nothing to do with my self esteem
Before I came to the program my self esteem was totally dependent on what others thought of me. I had no idea what healthy self esteem was.
Someone in the program told me that a good way to determine whether a meditation book would work for me was to read the reading on the date of my birthday and see how it felt to me. The reading I read was about accepting ourselves.
Today I have almost every meditation book from that author and a healthy appreciation of myself and my history. I know I am valuable and precious just for being.
PI 2/18/09
Someone in the program told me that a good way to determine whether a meditation book would work for me was to read the reading on the date of my birthday and see how it felt to me. The reading I read was about accepting ourselves.
Today I have almost every meditation book from that author and a healthy appreciation of myself and my history. I know I am valuable and precious just for being.
PI 2/18/09
Monday, February 16, 2009
A Second Step Story
Our GFL Blue Book reading on Step Two “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” continues with this explanation. “Sometimes we reach point where our actions are uncontrolled. We see that our feelings of anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., are controlling our behavior and we are not dealing with them in a constructive, creative way. When we realize that we cannot depend upon ourselves for calm, wise judgments, we turn to a power greater than ours. To most of us this Power is known as God. This Power will bring us enough serenity so that we can deal creatively with ourselves and the problems we must face in our lives.” As we read the long version of Step Two in a meeting this week, I thought of a week of absolute peace that came from taking the second step.
Once I was working in a position where I was only paid for the time I spent with a client. Winter was our slow time and I was living off a line of credit when my wages weren’t enough. I hadn’t had a client all week but had three lined up on one day. One by one they all called and canceled that day. I had previously declined working with another client because of these prior commitments. So I called that client saying I now had the time he had wanted earlier. He agreed to come in, but shortly afterward called back to say it really wouldn’t work for him that day.
I sat at my desk and my body was shaking with the emotions surging through me. I left and found my self at some ponds nearby where I started throwing stones. I also started telling God in a colorful language what I thought of his world. And as I heard myself yelling at the universe, I realized that what I was saying must be the opposite of what the 2nd step meant by sanity. In recognizing my “insanity,” I finally could say, “God, I don’t know what sanity is and you will need to show me.” A feeling of peace and serenity settled over me as I let go of thinking that I had to figure out how to help myself.
The next day, as I was getting ready to go in to the office where no work awaited me, I came up with an idea. This idea could help out a client I was working with the next week, and it would also provide training for myself on equipment that I wasn’t qualified to operate. I went in and presented this proposal to the owner who immediately said, “No.” But instead of my retreating in resentment and despair, I simply explained to the best of my abilities how this could help our company, the owner of the equipment that we were renting, my client and myself. He then countered with his estimation that because of maintenance timing requirements, it couldn’t be done. Again, instead of leaving in a huff, I simply asked if we could ask the maintenance people if they could complete the required maintenance in time. Out we walked to the maintenance area where the chief mechanic, who was not a friend of mine, was asked if they could complete their work early. Without any hesitation he said,” Sure.”
That day, everything changed at my work and yet nothing outside of myself had really changed. By letting go of resentful self-pity, I could deal creatively with myself and my situation. By asking to be shown sanity, it was possible to openly advocate for myself and my ideas. I still scraped through that winter but I had been shown that it was possible to change what was really mine to change. Me.
R.H.
Once I was working in a position where I was only paid for the time I spent with a client. Winter was our slow time and I was living off a line of credit when my wages weren’t enough. I hadn’t had a client all week but had three lined up on one day. One by one they all called and canceled that day. I had previously declined working with another client because of these prior commitments. So I called that client saying I now had the time he had wanted earlier. He agreed to come in, but shortly afterward called back to say it really wouldn’t work for him that day.
I sat at my desk and my body was shaking with the emotions surging through me. I left and found my self at some ponds nearby where I started throwing stones. I also started telling God in a colorful language what I thought of his world. And as I heard myself yelling at the universe, I realized that what I was saying must be the opposite of what the 2nd step meant by sanity. In recognizing my “insanity,” I finally could say, “God, I don’t know what sanity is and you will need to show me.” A feeling of peace and serenity settled over me as I let go of thinking that I had to figure out how to help myself.
The next day, as I was getting ready to go in to the office where no work awaited me, I came up with an idea. This idea could help out a client I was working with the next week, and it would also provide training for myself on equipment that I wasn’t qualified to operate. I went in and presented this proposal to the owner who immediately said, “No.” But instead of my retreating in resentment and despair, I simply explained to the best of my abilities how this could help our company, the owner of the equipment that we were renting, my client and myself. He then countered with his estimation that because of maintenance timing requirements, it couldn’t be done. Again, instead of leaving in a huff, I simply asked if we could ask the maintenance people if they could complete the required maintenance in time. Out we walked to the maintenance area where the chief mechanic, who was not a friend of mine, was asked if they could complete their work early. Without any hesitation he said,” Sure.”
That day, everything changed at my work and yet nothing outside of myself had really changed. By letting go of resentful self-pity, I could deal creatively with myself and my situation. By asking to be shown sanity, it was possible to openly advocate for myself and my ideas. I still scraped through that winter but I had been shown that it was possible to change what was really mine to change. Me.
R.H.
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